River Story: River Helps Carry Grief

In 2004 I had a miscarriage, my first pregnancy. Experiencing that pain and disbelief, all I needed or could do was to be outside. I went to Crosby Farm Regional Park in Saint Paul to walk along the Mississippi River.

In 2007 my beloved grandma died. The day we learned the news, I could not stay indoors. We went to the river. I was next to the water when I was struck, recognizing that this was the same place to which I was drawn in grief after my miscarriage.

Years later I had the chance to participate in artist Rebecca Krinke's project, The Mapping of Joy and Pain, in which visitors were invited to color on a map of the Twin Cities places where they have felt joy (gold) or pain (dark gray). Along the Mississippi River in Crosby Farm Regional Park, I colored dark gray to remember my pain. Afterward, talking with Ms. Krinke, she pointed out to me that this area is sacred to the Dakota people, near the confluence of the Mississippi and Minnesota Rivers. This big connection swept me off my feet in wonder, depth, and peace.

I continue to find myself there, especially at moments of transition. A crisp memory of my 40th birthday is gathering with dear friends at that place, magical feathers of frost scattered across the river's frozen surface. Just recently, before the start of another school year, full of anxiety and anticipation, I realized I had been to the river twice in one weekend! I thank the river for helping me carry my grief, and for being its strong, dependable, beautiful self. The water flows on, in wonder, in depth, in peace, and reminds me that I can do the same.

by Jill Galstad

The River Story Map

Created and coordinated by volunteer extraordinaire Michael Bischoff, the River Story Map kicks off FMR's silver anniversary year with 25+ stories of friendship with and connection to the metro Mississippi.  These honest and personal reflections portray the river as a source of intrigue and adventure, a beloved date night venue, and even an unlikely partner in tales of loss and healing. We hope you enjoy them and consider adding your personal story of friendship with the Mississippi River.